Well, today was terrible. Shocker there... Failed my chemistry vocab test, retaking it tomorrow to just fail it again. Flipped out on D in creative writing because he was instigating. Had a terrible practice, hurt a girl. Got to my grandmas to find out that my family went out to eat without me. 

I have so much going on. I am ridiculously stressed out. This guy that likes me tried to help and I completely flipped out on him, so now I feel guilty about that.. I feel like all of my friends have abandoned me.. Especially my best friend, J. She's been with her boyfriend for a year now. I don't get along with him, and today I realized that it was because it makes me so upset that she ignores me for him. Every time I want to do something with her she always has an excuse, usually that shes going to be with him.. Then in class, they're always ALL over each other. She hardly even talks to me when he's around.. She's kept a lot of secrets from me... but that's for another day. I have other friends, but not good enough of friends that I would want to spend my time on the weekends with.. They wouldn't want to spend their time with me either because they have their own best friends to hang out with. I thought one of the girls on the cheerleading squad was going to be a really good friend of mine, turns out she likes to choose everyone else over me too. Not to mention it really upsets me how she treats her boyfriend. He doesn't deserve it & she's just not mature enough to be in a serious relationship. 

Oh, and then there's that. I am sick of being single. There's no one worth dating (by my standards) at my school that isn't already in a relationship. 99% of the boys at my school are rednecks, and I'm not really in to that... Unfortunately, being from such a small town, I don't have any way to really meet kids from other schools. I've had one boyfriend, we used to do something every weekend. I don't miss him, but I miss the things we did. I miss feeling wanted. I miss knowing that someone wants to spend their time with me outside of school. I miss doing things with people on the weekend. I miss being able to have fun.... 

I really don't know what to do..